For some reason last night I could not fall asleep. Ok, the reason was I was stressing out about all of the things I haven't been doing well lately. One of my pregnancy symptoms is getting down on myself. Yesterday, I woke up feeling really good, and started to be productive. While folding laundry I had to run to the bathroom and get sick (WHEN WILL I BE DONE WITH THAT!?). After getting sick, I couldn't calm my body back down, so I had to just give up and go to sleep. I woke up from my sleeping and was shaking and still all weird. This just made me really mad. I was angry that AGAIN I wasn't getting the housework done, and I could barely think of how to take care of myself. This pleasant mood carried with me for the rest of the evening (sorry Jon!). I then took those thoughts further and started to stress about why I was becoming a mom. If I can't take care of myself and keep a clean house, what was I thinking becoming a mom! So that was some of what was going through my head while I was trying to sleep, and then while sitting at the computer.
After checking my email, and not being suprised to find nothing there, I felt inspired to visit the church website and read a talk. So lds.org loaded, and there it was, the First Presidency message from President Uchtdorf " The Influence of Righteous Women". This message was just perfect for me last night! For those of you who haven't read it, look it up! It is short and sweet, but left me feel uplifted and ready to take on the world. One paragraph in particular hit me hard last night:
"May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you. But don’t reach beyond your capacity. Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve. Don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure. Don’t compare yourself with others. Do the best you can, and the Lord will provide the rest. Have faith and confidence in Him, and you will see miracles happen in your life and the lives of your loved ones. The virtue of your own life will be a light to those who sit in darkness, because you are a living witness of the fulness of the gospel (see
D&C 45:28). Wherever you have been planted on this beautiful but often troubled earth of ours, you can be the one to “succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees” (
D&C 81:5)."
Last night (and let's be honest, lots of days and nights lately) I have been dwelling on the things I am not doing perfect. I have been beating myself up over things that really don't matter (so what if the dishes are still in the sink! I'm growing a baby!) I need to do a better job at being faithful and positive in my life, because I know from past experiences that when I am relying on the Lord and focusing on His plan for my life, everything else starts to fall into place. I am so grateful for this message! It has helped me to get my butt in gear (as my mother would say). I know that I will never be a perfect wife or mother, but if I stay close to the Lord and have faith in Him, everything will work out.